Tapping Out

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

It’s getting harder to locate isn’t it, that place within us that feels no need to be right, that place that desires only to love unconditionally, to listen without judgment. Every single time we reach a place where we whisper “it can’t get worse. There’s no way this can’t be it” the heat gets turned up. We’ve become cynical and jaded. We are frustrated, exhausted, frightened and just so over all of it. Those who scream the loudest that the “others” are the ones living in fear are the most frightened of all. That’s why the noise needs to be so loud - to drown out the fear, to distract from the anxiety humming through their consciousness. We love to focus on just how wrong others are. We malign with ease, as if it has become our resting place, our ground zero. It’s tearing family and friends apart.

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. I could say it’s because I’ve been the busiest I’ve been in decades, both personally and professionally - which is true, but it’s not the reason I stepped back. I stepped back to protect and tend to my emotional and spiritual core. I stepped back because I had very little nice, or helpful, to say on social media, and I have exactly zero desire to be part of the problem. I stepped back because staying emotionally and spiritually balanced means minimizing the amount of vitriol I expose myself to. But honesty matters, and 2020/2021 will forever be the years when clients exclaimed to their therapists “can you even believe this BS”? and therapists across the globe replied “we cannot”

I know one thing to be true - History will one day recognize this period as a clear emotional and spiritual evolution for humanity. In order to move forward we must first be torn up from the roots. We are being stretched and challenged in the most excruciating ways. We are being pulled closer to love and honor and truth, but first we have some serious shadows to face. There can be no other way. Some will surrender and face the shadows, they will evolve (even if they do so kicking and screaming). Some will remain filled with anger, deflection and denial, they will continue to carry their persecution stories right into the grave - and that is their choice, their right. I also know that I don’t get to decide how this story unfolds. I have some brilliant ideas, but have yet to be consulted from above. I know that we are microscopic flecks of dust and we will all feel significantly better if we remember that. Above all I know this - I am over the judgment, hysteria and finger pointing - primarily within my own precious little princess head. I long ago unfollowed anyone who has decided they are experts because they run down rabbit holes on the internet or get their info from one perspective only. I am done searching for all the evidence that evil roams openly among us and is showing off in the most spectacular fashion. I yell “uncle” to obsessing about how critical thinking has flown out the window and all those sweet librarians who taught us all how to properly research are locked up in some padded room somewhere mumbling about YouTube, Twitter, Google “research” and where it all went wrong. I’m tapping out. At least for today. Today I choose my core devotion to kindness, compassion, empathy and unconditional love. Today I stand smack in the middle of the road and choose sanity. Because - tick tock.